It is the end of the third quarter, and Team Human has the edge on its rival Team Nature, 50-2. Team Human is feeling pretty confident having only given up a lone safety late in the third quarter, and despite the fact that the Humans were able to score only a field goal early in the third quarter, and a long one at that, Coach still thinks this one's in the bag.
Team Nature's defense, based on the Laws of Thermodynamics, had all but shut down Team Human's offense. The easy scoring of the first half turned to a sluggish, ineffectual and wearisome effort in the second, though it was not for a lack of trying. If anything, Team Human had jacked up the effort because winning a big game decisively sends a message and bolsters confidence for the whole team. But the coach secretly wished for the end of the game. He saw how tired his players were compared to those of his opponent, and was even galled by Nature's unperturbed and nonchalant demeanor. Team Nature seemed not to care about the outcome of the game, most galling of all.
Then something strange happened. The start of the fourth quarter was delayed for some reason. An animated discussion had erupted among the refs at mid field which lasted beyond the time allotted for the quarterly break. Some refs were talking, others were rushing off field and rushing back to deliver messages to the other refs. They looked at papers, listened to explanations. As time went on the impatience of the crowd became audible as they began to boo, jeer, and to throw things. Coach was getting impatient as well though, in a way, he welcomed the extra rest for his players. Mostly he just wondered what the heck was going on. Finally the head ref ran over to the sideline to talk to the coach of Team Human.
He was extremely apologetic, embarrassingly so, coach thought, but listened anyway. "It seems there's been a mistake. The game isn't actually heading into the fourth quarter, and the game has been going on for much longer than anybody thought." He emitted a nervous laugh. "Nobody knows how many quarters have been played, and there's some discussion about whether they should be called quarters, but all we can say, with only some certainty, is that this is the last quarter, or whatever you want to call it. We shall see. But, as a result of our findings, the score has changed and is now 247-53 in favor of Team Nature."
The coach didn't believe him at first. He just stared at the ref with mouth agape and eyes that said "you are insane". But anger quickly took the reigns as the stream of bad words flying from his mouth made evident.
"What do you mean the score has changed?"
"Well, it changed. See? Look at the scoreboard. It says 247-53. We can't do anything about that." Coach fumed but saw the ref was either truly powerless or too much of a wimp to do anything. "So, uh, we're going to start the fourth quarter, or whatever."
The fans went crazy at the new information on the scoreboard. They screamed at the refs, screamed at each other, screamed at the sky. Everyone in the stands was rooting for Team Human and now they were all angry. The players were utterly demoralized as the game resumed once it had dawned on them that revised score would stand. They seemed even to have forgotten what they were out there to do. Some were standing around. Other players engaged in lengthy conversations with the players of Team Nature, would even physically embrace them. Others fought and some laid down on the ground.
The pep band made its own commentary on the new situation, too, with songs like this:
And even this:
Alas Poore Men
This was too much for the Cheerleaders who chided the band for their song selection. "You're a pep band. Be peppy!" they said to no effect. Then they tried to blame the pep band for the altered score, still trying to grapple with what was to them a deeply unfair decision by the refs. This tactic worked for only a little while and the pep band quickly resumed its dour statement. Eventually, even the cheerleaders recognized that victory seemed impossible and interest in the game had dried up.
The coach for Team Human halfheartedly tried to revive his players interest but quickly saw the futility of the attempt. The clock ticked indifferently along and in a last gesture to change the course of things, he called a time out. The refs seemed not to notice or care that he had done so. So the coach resolved to sit down to think. He had no control over his players anymore, and victory was out of the question. Team Nature had won without caring. He reflected on what had happened and had to admit a vague recollection of previous quarters having been played, but had believed somewhere along the line that only the last three quarters mattered and consequently forgot about the others. He looked for a way out of this with some dignity still intact for himself and his team. "Is this all there is?" he thought. What happened before the game? Or after? He decided that maybe what he needed was a different metaphor.
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